FOURS are known for their emotional intensity and depth in all areas of their life. Their own uniqueness is important to them and may show itself in how they dress or in their surroundings. They are usually artistic, placing a high value on authenticity. FOURS report a sense of longing for what is missing in life, either in a relationship, work or a creative endeavor. This comes from a belief that life can only be satisfying if I find what is missing. FOUR’S focus of attention is on something "out there" that will make them feel whole. An energy of envy and longing develops as the search continues, and FOUR sometimes wonders if it is their own sense of being flawed that is responsible for their living in want. They say they do everything to avoid being ordinary. When discomfort begins, FOURS automatically rely on the mechanism of introjection by taking in the idealized qualities for which FOUR is searching, and holding them as security against not having them. Ironically, a constant focus on what is missing prevents a rich, deep, fulfilling experience of the present.
What pushes FOUR’S buttons?
Not being understood
Significant others not meeting their intensity
How do others experience FOURS?
The Good: FOURS are able to be very present for others. They are comfortable sitting with another’s intense emotions, even difficult ones. They bring creative expression to relationships and the workplace.
The Bad: FOURS can also be very self-absorbed and withdrawn for periods of time. They report a push-pull process in which, after finding the idealized relationship, they see it as lacking and begin to push it away.
The Better: When FOURS learn to focus on what is in the present and positive, they can focus their depth and creativity productively.
FOUR with a THREE wing (4w3) brings a more outgoing energy to FOUR. They may place more importance on projecting a unique image and a great sense of style. They are more likely to express emerging emotions than other FOURS. When healthy, this combination of being intuitive and productive has great value expressed in this FOUR’S ability as an empathic listener and advisor.
FOUR with a FIVE wing (4w5) combines intellectual depth with intuitive gifts. They experience powerful, passionate feelings. When unhealthy, this combination feels alienated, depressed or morbid.
FOUR’s connection to ONE, when healthy, brings objective balance to an otherwise subjective experience. The volume is turned down on intense emotions and energy is directed toward making a contribution to what they believe is important. When unhealthy, these FOURS can be even more highly critical and see everything as lacking.
FOUR’s connection to TWO can bring a deep level of empathy to relationships along with good relational skills. Deep understanding can be combined with genuine caring about the well-being of others.
Self-preservation FOUR can court disaster and play out melodrama.
Social FOUR is driven by a nagging sense of inner defect and shame that I am “defective.”
Intimate FOUR can be jealous and possessive. Relationships are stormy and passionate. This can be the most aggressive FOUR.
Famous FOURS: Marlon Brando, Virginia Woolf, Vincent Van Gogh, Isak Dinesen, France
FOURS in the movies: Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck, Meryl Streep in Out of Africa, F. Murray Abraham in Amadeus, Vivien Leigh in A Streetcar Named Desire